September 11,2026
How Would You Like That Cooked? Rare Vol.2
Welcome, and thank you for visiting our establishment.
I know this is sudden, but there’s something a little weird going on with “me” lately…
That’s right (?), I am completely restless.
Now, when I told a friend, “I’ve been way too restless lately,” they immediately shot back with, “Uh, haven’t you always been?” So, sure, I admit I’ve always been a naturally fidgety person from the start.
But it’s gotten so bad that even I’m hyper-aware of it… Hell, even my parents chimed in with, “Aren’t you a little too restless these days?” My current lack of chill is on a whole different level compared to before.
Honestly, it’s embarrassing.
It’s so embarrassing that I desperately want to stop. (Though let’s be real, I’m never going to be a completely calm person, so I’d at least settle for going back to my normal level of restlessness.)
But when I sit down and really think about what the heck is causing this…
It finally hit me.
Lately, I haven’t been able to do any ota-katsu.
That’s it.
“…Huh????”
I know. That’s exactly what you’re thinking right now. I get it.
But I’m actually being completely serious here.
Lately, I’ve been super busy—my schedule has just been packed tight. Because of that, I haven’t been able to go to any events or attend any of my favorite shows at all. My passion is essentially suffering from “indigestion.”
I genuinely think that’s what is triggering this current bout of restlessness.
Think about it: this restlessness is basically a type of withdrawal. It’s the exact same as the withdrawal symptoms people get when they try to quit drinking, smoking, or gambling.
It’s an addiction, plain and simple. Withdrawal symptoms caused by addiction.
In my case, my drug of choice is ota-katsu. Up until now, I was able to regularly defuse (vent) the ticking time bomb (addiction) of my fandoms and oshis by actually going to events and shows.
But since I haven’t been able to do that lately, the countdown timer to explosion has just steadily ticked down… And finally—BOOM!!!!! I guess it just blew up in my face.
And that explosion is manifesting as this unbearable restlessness (withdrawal).
Ahhhhhhh. Being a massive fangirl really is an addiction, isn’t it?
I’ve now experienced that truth firsthand.
Terrifying, right…?
But hey, those of you reading this right now are puwota who are carrying your very own pro wrestling time bombs, so try to put yourselves in my shoes.
What if you couldn’t watch the wrestling you love, or see your absolute favorite oshi, for a really long time?
Sure, while you can’t see them perform, you’d probably stalk your oshi’s social media just to keep tabs on what they’re up to.
But then, right there on their feed, you see some insanely hype storyline developing, or you find out a massive dream match has been booked—and you realize you can’t go see it.
Now, we live in a modern age. Some of you might be thinking, “If you can’t go to the arena, just watch the live stream! ♪” And plenty of people do exactly that. Me included. I watch streams all the time.
But come on… can you honestly tell me that watching a stream leaves you 100% satisfied? Of course not, right?
The level of satisfaction between being there in the building and watching through a screen is completely different.
You want to feel the heat of the crowd on your skin, don’t you? Right?
So there you are, unable to feel that raw energy in person. You’re watching the stream, and yeah, you can watch it, but there’s just something missing…
You let all that frustration build and build, and as a result, the withdrawal symptoms hit.
Fandom “indigestion” is pure poison for the body. Absolutely prohibited.
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The time as I am writing this is 4:00 AM. I am running entirely on midnight delirium.
By the time this gets published, I’m definitely going to look at it and think, “What on earth was I blabbering about? This is exclusively a ‘you’ problem caused by being a terminal fangirl, right?” And I will cringe out of my mind.
However, the 4:00 AM version of me was dead serious when she wrote this column.
Thank you for reading this far.
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And with that, thank you for visiting the second installment of How Would You Like That Cooked? Rare.
We sincerely look forward to your next visit.
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— A Horror Movie (?) I Watched Recently —
Chiikawa “I get it!! I get it!!”
I don’t actually know much about Chiikawa itself, but I heard the plot gets incredibly unsettling. Curiosity got the better of me, so I checked it out, and honestly… it was a certain type of horror.
Translator’s Notes:
- How Would You Like That Cooked? Rare (『焼き加減』は『レア』): The title of the column is a bilingual pun on the author’s ring name, Rea (レア), which is phonetically identical to the English word “rare.” She leans into this pun by framing her column intro and outro as a restaurant greeting its customers (“Welcome to our establishment”).
- Ota-katsu (オタ活): A portmanteau of “otaku” and “katsudou” (activities). It broadly refers to the act of actively supporting your fandom—such as buying merchandise, attending live shows, going to meet-and-greets, or organizing watch parties.
- Oshi (推し): A term originating from idol culture, referring to a fan’s absolute favorite member, character, or in this case, professional wrestler.
- Puwota (プヲタ): A widely used shorthand slang term for “pro wrestling otaku” (professional wrestling nerd/superfan).
- Terminal Fangirl (限界ヲタク / Genkai Wotaku): Literally translating to “limit otaku,” this slang describes a fan who has reached their breaking point—someone who is so hopelessly, overwhelmingly obsessed with their oshi or fandom that they have lost their grip on their sanity, dignity, or vocabulary.
- Midnight Delirium (深夜テンション / Shinya Tension): The specific burst of unhinged, emotional, or philosophical energy a person gets late at night when they are sleep-deprived.
- Chiikawa (ちいかわ): A massively popular Japanese mascot franchise featuring incredibly cute, tiny creatures. Despite its adorable exterior, the series is notoriously famous among Japanese audiences for its surprisingly dark, dystopian, and emotionally devastating underlying lore—hence Rea comparing it to a horror film.